I'm lonely and I miss it "(Fernando Pessoa)

I'm lonely and I miss it "(Fernando Pessoa)

"We are the memory that we have and the responsibility that we assume. Without memory we do not exist, without responsibility perhaps we do not deserve to exist. "(Cadernos de Lanzarote (1994) - José Saramago).



 "I need to be alone" .... will it be a question or an answer? All of us at certain moments in our lives have already "expressed" this desire. There comes an hour in the life of any person, in which above all what we most want and what many of us need, but most of the time we do not know "how to ask", is to be alone, we and our thoughts ! Have space and time to think, to understand, to dream, to try to reflect and, above all, to be able to process all of this. "There are times when the greatest wisdom is to seem to know nothing." (Sun Tzu)

The theme of the sense of losing someone, who is very dear to us, has arisen in its multiple aspects, in different ways in our life, and very recently, and it is not something that people want to talk about. However, it is such a challenging experience for us to understand, because it means abandoning the reality that we had before that loss, to make room for a new one that can be incredibly disturbing and even very frightening. We often think of a loss in terms of death, but there are also losses related to all the changes we go through in our lives, both negative and positive.

 The "cycle of the life of humanity" leads us to have to face not only the loss of the people we love; but we also lost the ideas we had about how our future would be. We lose the aspects of our identity and our way of living. We lose the familiarity and comfort of what is known to us. We lost bits of who we were once to become who we are today. We lose family structure and routines and patterns of our daily living. We lose parts of ourselves.

 While the loss that we have to face according to our ability to live, is very painful and often seems to be impossible for us to understand, it will also be a kind of propeller for new ideas, and a new attitude toward living life . Loss forces us to change what we thought we know, which creates space for integrating new parts of the world and ourselves. The loss also gives us the opportunity to rely on our values ​​and beliefs to live anew in a more intentional and authentic way. Loss reminds us of what really matters in the midst of the "chaos and confusion that sometimes invades our mind." Loss amplifies our whole life in a thousand different ways and tends to distort the time we have to face and makes us feel totally incapable of altering the past.

 I believe that each of us has the ability to grow through what we have been through and to show ourselves more in accordance with the full reality of our lives and to be kind and loving to ourselves, no matter what happens externally and , at the same time, I believe with all my heart. I believe because I felt, I saw, and I continue to feel and see inside of me and around me. I have seen this in all people of all who go through the same situation in their lives, overcoming all sorts of traumas, living with all sorts of challenges. The resilience of human beings surprises me every day.

But I can not help but remember that in the midst of the loss, there is no problem in not being well, and having the prospect that soon, we will realize that we will feel a little better than the day before. But until then, we have to take care of ourselves, breathe and always remember that we are not alone. Perhaps the thoughts are not about how to get to a particular place or a "process of moving forward," perhaps it is about treating ourselves smoothly in this process and knowing that we will feel better in a few moments, and savor those moments as they are in the reality and not how we think as they should be.

To miss is absolutely normal and common, but we have to understand, that the past does not come back. We have to be able to look forward! Living life, tomorrow may not exist, the past will never come back! Today maybe the time has come to change ... to "turn the page" !? (... to change course and start over)



"It is not true that people stop chasing dreams because they are getting old, they are getting old because they have stopped chasing dreams." (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)