Life is made of dreams, choose yours and make them the reason of your days!

When something saddens or annoys us, we often think there is something wrong. "[1]" The only man who never makes mistakes is one who never does anything. Do not be afraid to err, for you will learn not to make the same mistake twice. "([2])

The reality is that I feel that most of the time, I think that "I want to be sure that despite my resignations and maybe some crazy things, that there is someone who values ​​me for what I am, not for what I have. And may this one tell me that I should not change, that I may never grow up, that I may always be myself. "([3])

It may even be tempting to remain "stuck in time" because it makes us feel comfortable - but actually stay where we are because it is what we know, not what we really want. Fear of the unknown can be powerful enough to prevent us from tracing "a new territory," a new and different way of living life. The thing is, when we stay at what is predictable, we lose what is possible. We can be comfortable, but comfortable are not where we grow up, how we want to live, how well we feel about ourselves and life.

"And we feel this most truly when the experience is of fear," as Ezra Bayda, who defines and "believes that all our negative feelings come from three fundamental fears: fear of losing security or control, fear of loneliness, incoherence and disunity, and the fear of having no value, due to insecurity or lack of self-determination.

A) The fear of losing security or control involves our survival, and is activated in our limbic system, at any sign of pain or discomfort, that fear appears. "But for the most part, there is no real danger for us; in fact, most, or almost all, of our fears are largely imaginary - that the plane will fall, that we will be criticized, that we are doing something wrong ...... ".

B) Fear of loneliness, incoherence and disunity. It is a fear so basic that with some attention we can notice in our friends, in social relations, at work, and almost always the existence of the same serves to fill the void of being alone, and this need ends up preventing us from having, for example , a real and more real intimacy. "How can we really be friends with someone really or be close to that person, if we are in this relationship from our fears?" ([4]).

C) Fear of not having value, due to insecurity or lack of will to self-assessment. This will be one of the other "fears" that takes many forms and often appears, such as the fear of not being perceived, of being seen as any, of being stupid when asking a question, not deserving to be loved, etc. "This fear" is reflected in our behavior, for example, when we argue: for some, fear drives continuity and necessarily tries to prove that it is right, while for others, it directs it in the sense of giving up with pessimism " , and as Thomas Fuller said "some people were considered brave because they were afraid to flee." We have all felt that it was in our friendships, even in love, that some people just do not know how to value what others do for them. But remember that you have to recognize those who care about you in order to reciprocate!

When we learn to trust ourselves enough to take risks, take risks and continually "throw us out of the nest," life usually has a lesson, a reward or a new sense of joy on the other side. We will never be able to control the outcome of life, but daring to act in the face of uncertainty is one of the most courageous things we can do "with our time, which will never be as much as we judge on this earth, where we have the privilege of living life .

"I learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but triumph over it. The courageous man is not the one who does not feel fear, but the one who conquers this fear. "([5])






[1] Ezra Bayda, professor at Zen Center San Diego, (USA).

[2] Theodore Roosevelt

[3] Mário Quintana

[4] Ezra Bayda

[5] (Nelson Mandela)